


It's just my birthday...

by Frasers_soulmate



Category: due South
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frasers_soulmate/pseuds/Frasers_soulmate
Summary: Fraser and Ray during a stake out.It's Ben's birthday.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday and since I usually spend it alone in the woods, I thought that would be something Fraser would do ...

Ray had asked Ben if he wanted to accompany him to a stake-out tonight and since he had nothing better to do with his free time, he said yes.  
When Ray picked him up, Diefenbaker seemed annoyed.  
"You can accompany us," Ray said to the wolf.  
When they arrived at the warehouse they were supposed to watch, Dief was quite offended. "What is he?" Ray wanted to know. Ben smiled. "He's angry." Then he turned to his wolf: "I told you, we're making it up at the weekend. You see that Ray needs us today."  
Dief barked offended and Ben snapped, "I know it was always so, but now other things are important."  
Ray looked irritated from one to the other.  
"What's wrong, Fraser?" He asked.  
Ben grinned and waved his hand. "Nothing, Ray. He is only a little unaware. "  
Dief barked and Ray felt that he was more likely to believe the wolf than his best friend.  
"Benny!" He said sternly, using his "big brother tone". Ben sighed.  
He knew Ray wouldn't let it go until he told him.  
He wanted to make it as fast and unspectacular as possible. "Oh, you know, Ray ..." He rubbed his thumb over his brow. "It's just the fact that Dief and I are always in the woods on this day of the year, and also stay there, with camp fire and everything, but here in Chicago it's not that simple, I know, there's something like a forest outside of the city or we go to the lake, but not today. "  
Ray frowned. It was in the middle of the week. Ben had duty at the consulate, as far as he knew.  
"And what's the special thing about that day?" Ray wanted to know.  
Again, Dief barked and Ben gave him a look, then he looked out of the corner of his eye to his friend.  
"Um ... well, nothing special in the real sense," he stammered. Ray was, as always, slightly annoyed when he had to pull his friend's word out of his nose.  
"Man, Fraser, it's Tuesday, in the middle of the week, what's so special about a Tuesday?"  
Ben blinked a few times. It was obviously unpleasant. Quietly, he said, "Not the day of the week, Ray. The date."  
"What is it?" Ray asked annoyed. He had no idea what date was today or why it might be important until Ben quietly said,

"It's just my birthday."

Silence...  
Ray stared at him with an open mouth. Ben looked embarrassed out of the window. Even Dief had become quiet.  
"Man, Benny ...", Ray stammered, trying to remember what date was today.  
"Why didn't you say anything?"  
Ben looked out the side window and rubbed his thumb over his lower lip.  
"As I said, it's not so important," he said softly. Dief gave a grunting sound. "Right, Dief." Ray said, "All the best, Benny."  
"Thank you, Ray." Ben smiled lightly, but even in the diffuse light of the street lamps Ray could see that his eyes were sad.  
"You should have told me," Ray said, somewhat disappointed.  
"What for?" Ben replied. "It's just a day like any other."  
"So really?!" Ray rebelled. "You have no idea how to celebrate Vecchio 's birthdays! Ma is already preparing, days before everything is ready, it will be shopped and cooked, the whole kinship is invited, and all the friends, colleagues and neighbours, Frannie decorates the whole house. When the day comes, the birthday child will be pampered by everyone and will be over heaped with gifts. It's unbearable! And if you are the birthday child, it is very hard for you and you're happy when the day is over. Have you never celebrated your birthday?"

Ben said with a smile: "Oh, but when I was a child, I was always celebrated.  
When my mum was still alive, she always made a very special breakfast for me. And I got a blueberry muffin with a candle on it. Then she woke me with kisses, congratulated me and then tickled me. We roared around for a while.  
There was a gift to my place at the kitchen table. Sometimes a toy, a book or something useful, like new mittens or a self-knit sweater.  
After breakfast we always went on a trip. I was allowed to choose whether I wanted to go to the city or the woods. When we went to the city, we visited friends, went to eat and shopping. Most of the time, I got a little extra gift, like sweets or fruits. When we went into the woods, what I liked better, we did a picnic, pick berries, mushrooms and wild herbs.  
Mum explained to me what was good and how to use it. We watched animals and after lunch she stroked me until I was asleep in her lap. She always said, "Sleep well, Ben. You have to grow. "  
Later, when I was living with my grandparents, every year I wanted my dad to come home.  
But mostly only a card came. It was always the same thing:

Happy Birthday, Benton!  
Be brave and listen to your grandparents.  
Make me proud.

Greeting, Dad

I had no idea if I had ever made him proud. I hoped, but he never said anything.  
I didn't get toys. My grandmother said that wouldn't extend my horizon. But I got books. Soon I had a considerable collection.  
We moved often, so I had hardly any friends. If I had befriended someone, we had to go away. When I was eleven or twelve, and had to leave my scout group, I decided I'd never meet anybody.  
I dived into the world of books. My grandparents were librarians, as you know, and so it became my refuge. The books and the wilderness. Alone.  
Books couldn't hurt me, couldn't leave me. What was in my head was mine. And so I wandered through the woods and invented my own stories. My own world. It was safer there than in reality. In my imagination, I was able to control my own life and determine what should happen and what not. It was safer.

I was already a strange little fellow, wasn't I?

When I grew up and became a mountie, I went to the woods on my birthday. I did a picnic and a camp fire. At night I slept under the stars. There are millions of them where I come from. And I thought about my mum and how she had caressed me into sleep. Later, when Diefenbaker was with me, it was better. I was no longer alone and had someone who listened to me and shared my company. It became easier for me. But I never celebrated my birthday again.

You know, Ray, you should only celebrate your birthday when there is someone who is happy about you being born.  
Family for example. Although I know there are also families who are not interested in whether or not you are there. But if you're alone with yourself, the birthday is not important.  
And so, on this day I always went with Dief to the woods, because he liked it.  
But this year YOU have needed me. And it is a wonderful feeling to be needed. Almost as wonderful as to be loved, but how that feels, I can hardly remember. Well, it's always like this, Ray."

Ben smiled, lost in thoughts. Ray said nothing, just looked at him.  
He had no words.  
It was the first time Ben had talked about himself. Told him about his past.

"Benny, that ... I'm sorry." Ray whispered.  
Ben grinned. "Don't be, Ray. It's all so long ago and not important anymore."  
"Oh, it IS important," Ray said. "I'll be right back." He left the car. Ben looked at him, frowning.

When Ray came back a short time later, he brought blueberry-muffins and coffee from the gas station.  
He took a small candle out of his pocket, put it on one of the muffins and lit it.  
He handed Ben the muffin.  
"Happy birthday, Benny!"

 

TYK


End file.
